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clearInterval(m.interval);\n if (v == 0) {\n m.pause();\n m.currentTime = 0;\n m.volume = 1;\n }\n }, 10);\n }\n }\n }\n }\n }\n macros['fadeinsound'] = p;\n macros['fadeoutsound'] = p;\n macros['unloopsound'] = p;\n macros['loopsound'] = p;\n macros['pausesound'] = p;\n macros['stopsound'] = p;\n macros['stopallsound'] = {\n handler: function () {\n var s = macros.playsound.soundtracks;\n for (var j in s) {\n\t\tif (s.hasOwnProperty(j)) {\n s[j].pause();\n if (s[j].currentTime) {\n\t\t s[j].currentTime = 0;\n\t\t }\n\t\t}\n }\n }\n }\n var div = document.getElementById("storeArea").firstChild;\n var fe = ["ogg", "mp3", "wav", "webm"];\n while (div) {\n var b = String.fromCharCode(92);\n var q = '"';\n var re = "['" + q + "]([^" + q + "']*?)" + b + ".(ogg|mp3|wav|webm)['" + q + "]";\n k(new RegExp(re, "gi"));\n div = div.nextSibling;\n }\n\n function k(c, e) {\n do {\n var d = c.exec(div.innerHTML);\n if (d) {\n var a = new Audio();\n if (a.canPlayType) {\n for (var i = -1; i < fe.length; i += 1) {\n if (i >= 0) d[2] = fe[i];\n if (a.canPlayType("audio/" + d[2])) break;\n }\n if (i < fe.length) {\n a.setAttribute("src", d[1] + "." + d[2]);\n a.interval = null;\n macros.playsound.soundtracks[d[1]] = a;\n } else console.log("Browser can't play '" + d[1] + "'");\n }\n }\n } while (d);\n }\n}());

<<timedgoto "Fakestart" 55s>>\nAfter you smear various sigils and runes across the pentagram in the different humors, you sit crosslegged before the red pentagram.\n\nThe pentagram eventually glows a longing, blinding red and begins sucking the fourth and final humor from you: blood.\n\nAs your consciousness dims, you feel as though every moment of this process has brought you here, and may even bring yourself or others like you through it. The air throbs around you like a great, ineffable muscle, drawing you deeper beneath the surface, drawing you deeper inside the game. Because the processes are always here, and they're always hungry.\n\n//End.//<<timedinsert 2s>>[[..?|Fakestart]]<<endtimedinsert>>\n\n

<<set $wiz = "yes">><<set $sco = $sco + 1>><<timedgoto "woods" 55s>><<stopsound $JoHypAvril>><<playsound $Devastedit>>\nＰＩＳＳ  ＭＡＧＩＣ  ＭＵＬＴＩＰＬＩＥＲ  Ｘ２\nYour yellow bile mixes with the wizard's yellow bile and shit gets weird in a real, real way. Everything gets super hot, for one, and your dope bile is way cooler than their weaksauce horseshit bile. As wizards are wont to do, they catch on fire and run off into the woods with an undulating and everlasting wail of "MY PARSERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR." They spray gouts of sweet yellow bile all over the flippin' place.\n\nYou grab a fistful and stick it in your pocket.\n\nHoly shit, [[good job|woods]].\n\n

<<silently>>\n<<set $CFW = "no">>\n<<set $wiz = "no">>\n<<set $gal = "no">>\n<<set $sco = "0">>\n<<set $Devastedit = "Devastedit.mp3">>\n<<set $JoHypAvril = "JoHypAvril.mp3">>\n<<endsilently>>\n<<timedgoto "westofhouse" 55s>><<stopallsound>>\n[img[ZorkI.png]]\n[[Go|westofhouse]]\n\n[[Before]]\n[[Credits]]\n<<timedinsert 25s>>A blue sprite flits past. You are not sure if this is your phlegm offgass or someone else's.<<endtimedinsert>>

<<silently>>\n<<set $CFW = "no">>\n<<set $wiz = "no">>\n<<set $gal = "no">>\n<<set $sco = 0>>\n<<set $Devastedit = "Devastedit.mp3">>\n<<set $JoHypAvril = "JoHypAvril.mp3">>\n<<endsilently>>\n<<timedgoto "westofhouse" 55s>>\n[img[ZorkI.png]]\n[[Go|westofhouse]]\n\n[[Before]]\n[[Credits]]\n<<timedinsert 25s>>A blue sprite flits past. You are not sure if this is your phlegm offgass or someone else's.<<endtimedinsert>>\n\n\nCW: Loud noises, BILE MAGIC

<<if $CFW eq "no">><<timedgoto "GallBladder" 35s>><<stopallsound>><<endif>><<if $wiz eq "no">><<stopallsound>><<timedgoto "Spleen" 37s>><<endif>><<if $gal eq "no">><<stopallsound>><<timedgoto "BrainLungs" 39s>><<endif>><<if $sco eq "3">><<timedgoto "redroom" 3s>><<endif>>\n<<stopallsound>>\nYou come across a pentagram carved in the black earth. Because why not, right? It's the woods, it's a video game, of course there's a pentagram. There are three paths branching away from here. The one on the left is pitch [[black|GallBladder]]. The one in the middle shimmers with hot [[piss-coloured|Spleen]] light. The path on the right glows with a cold [[blue|BrainLungs]] glow. The pentagram yawns like an ever-open mouth.\n\n<<if $sco eq "3">>The blobs in yr pocket are [[throbbing like fuck|redroom]]<<endif>>\n<<timedinsert 25s>>A small rhythmic thumping fills the air. Too quick and regular to be human.<<endtimedinsert>>

<<if $CFW eq "yes">><<timedgoto "woods" 25s>><<stopallsound>>There's nothing here but the sick reek of [[cholera|woods]].<<else>><<timedgoto "GBYellow" 35s>><<stopallsound>>\nIn a Clearing the Shape of a Gall Bladder\nA person wearing thick heavy armour that exists in a state of flux between pig iron, wet black stone, and shining steel. They look, ah, crestfallen, leaning against a tree. You cannot tell if they are resting or injured.\n\n"Oh, hi. Terrific. Another one of you. I presume you want the black bile? Well you seem to have caught me at a time of ill-humor. I'm just far too crestfallen to be of any help." It's hard to tell with the helmet, but you assume they're staring past you into the darkness.\n\n[[UNLEASH THE YELLOW BILE|GBYellow]]\n[[UNLEASH THE BLACK BILE|GBBlack]]\n[[PHLEGM ALL OVER THEIR FACE|GBBlue]]\n<<endif>>

<<set $wiz = "yes">><<set $sco = $sco + 1>><<timedgoto "woods" 55s>><<stopallsound>>\nＰＨＬＥＧＭ  ＭＡＧＩＣ\nAs you sideeye their horseshit attempts at rhetoric, you collect a massive dose of phlegm on your tongue. Midway through their third paragraph on "beta fuckboys" you loose that loog directly into their eyesocket.\n\nWizards are known for their purported love of logos, but their real love is pathos, in those passionate ad hominem attacks. Anything but those, and they shut down, unable to cope with actual logic. In this case, the wizard slumps over, muttering blasphemies and smiling like a motherfucker. Trying your best to maintain as little contact with this shitlord as possible, you gather their yellow bile and get on your merry.\n\n[[Thank christ|woods]]

<<timedgoto "westofhouse" 55s>><<stopallsound>>\nThe house has been situated, let's say //placed// in a sort of idyllic countryside if Neo Rauch were the type to paint landscapes. It's picturesque in spite of its distortion. It is irretrievably, irredeemably cosmetic, however. Inside, you detect the faint flow and throb of movement, of ectoplasmic palpations, of perpetual, satisfactionless peristalsis.\nThis house, you conclude, is [[//not for you//|westofhouse]].\n<<timedinsert 25s>>Deep within the house, you hear a rattle, like lungs full of yellow bile.<<endtimedinsert>>

<<set $CFW = "yes">><<set $sco = $sco + 1>><<timedgoto "woods" 55s>>\n<<playsound $Devastedit>>\nＦＡＮＣＹ  ＰＩＳＳ  ＭＡＧＩＣ\n\nYellow bile erupts from your bileholes like a flipping geyser and soaks this crestfallen stick-in-the-mud from head to pig iron toe. They jump up with "SHEOW" and dance like they've donned fireant underoos.\n\nThey double-over and, still shrieking in tongues, vomit an unending sea of black bile. You grip a fistful and stuff it in your pocket. Finally, the warrior stops gorching and, with a brief, twitchy wave, they sprint directly into the woods, glowing bright and gloriously magnificent as the sun.\n\n[[Hell yeah|woods]]

[[Robot Parking|http://www.twitter.com/robotparking]] - words, pathological obscurantism.\n\nTony Hazeldine/)o- - noises.\n\nThe Blood Brothers - an edited version of DEVASTATOR from their 2004 album, CRIMES, appears in this game.\n\nMolly - [[SWORD font|http://geohand.tumblr.com/post/39769502703/im-getting-into-setting-up-a-system-to-talk-to]] from [[Crypt Worlds|http://cicadamarionette.com/Games/CryptWorlds/Main.html]].\n\n[[J. David Osborne|http://jdavidosborne.com/]] - the title of this game was partially adapted from/inspired by the title of J's collection of short stories, [[OUR BLOOD IN ITS BLIND CIRCUIT|http://www.amazon.com/Our-Blood-Its-Blind-Circuit-ebook/dp/B00HHMC3SG/ref%3Dsr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1392236456&sr=1-1&keywords=our+blood+in+its+blind+circuit]]. I believe he is a Dope Human and a Very Good Writer. He is the editor-in-chief of Broken River Books, which puts out some damn fine crime fiction.\n\nThis game opens with a screenshot from the first "room" of Zork: The Underground Empire.\n\n[[Leon Arnott|https://twitter.com/webbedspace]]'s CSS and macros have also been used here and there.\n\nAlso, I strongly suggest you play Emily Short's [[Galatea|http://iplayif.com/?story=http://parchment.toolness.com/if-archive/games/zcode/Galatea.zblorb.js]] if you haven't.\n\n[[Back|Fakestart]]\n

<<set $wiz = "yes">><<set $sco = $sco + 1>><<timedgoto "woods" 55s>><<stopallsound>>\nＢＬＡＣＫ  ＢＩＬＥ  ＦＯＲ  ＴＨＥ  ＢＩＬＥ  ＧＯＤ\nA gasp ghosts through your diaphragm and you fold yourself in half. You let loose a particularly aggressive pool of black bile, which palpates the feet of the wizard. Precise numbers like the jump height in Mario and the cooldown on a special ability in in some Massive Online Battle Arena flood his brain and he sits, slackjawed, drooling yellow bile from the corner of his lips, febrile mind burning like databombs on the grid.\n\nYou cup your fingers 'neath that dripping yellow grossness and pocket it.\n\n[[Neato|woods]]

<<set $CFW = "yes">><<set $sco = $sco + 1>><<timedgoto "woods" 55s>><<stopallsound>>\nＣＵＬＴ  ＯＦ  ＴＨＥ  ＢＬＵＥ  ＰＨＬＥＧＭ\nYou snuff as much slime from your lungs into your face cavities and hock that shit right in the crestfallen warrior's goddamn grill. For all their melancholy, a specific pattern of wrinkling across the brow suggests a different set of cognitive processes. After some time, they double over and yield, gratefully, to the growing nausea inside them. They barf for like hours, releasing a pool of thick black bile.\n\nYou palm a palmful and skip back to the clearing.\n\n[[Gravy|woods]]

<<set $gal = "yes">><<timedgoto "woods" 55s>><<set $sco = $sco + 1>><<playsound $Devastedit>>\nＨＥＡＰＩＮＧＳ  ＯＦ  ＰＩＳＳ  ＭＡＧＩＣ\nIt feels like an abomination (and in point of fact, it is) to hose down this immaculate sculpture with something as base and vile as your yellow bile. Rather than be moved by the shrieking yawps of the ritual or the flying gouts of yellow bile, the sculpture stands impassively, breathing, her back to you.\n\n"Fine. If you insist," she murmurs as pools of phlegm radiate out from the pedistal in concentric lappings. You plunge your fingers into the growing sea and stuff some in your curiously waterproof pockets.\n\n[[Well ok then|woods]]

<<set $gal = "yes">><<timedgoto "woods" 55s>><<set $sco = $sco + 1>><<stopallsound>>\nＢＬＡＣＫ  ＢＩＬＥ／ＲＥＶＥＲＥＮＴ ＭＯＮＳＴＥＲ\nYou let loose a gout of black bile in the statue's direction. It pools 'round her pedastal. Analog trigger data and parser best practices flood whatever constitutes her mind. With a sigh of profound boredom, she shrugs and drops a dollop of bright blue phlegm to the ground. You reverently gather it from her feet, and cannot resist kissing her exquisitely carved knees before you leave.\n\n[[I mean //goddamn//|woods]]

Undo: off

<<if $wiz eq "yes">><<timedgoto "woods" 25s>>A heavy wet heat hangs in the air, but there's [[nothing|woods]] else for you.<<else>><<playsound $JoHypAvril>><<timedgoto "SplYellow" 55s>>\nIn a Clearing the Shape of a Spleen\nCurled like a tiny impotent fist against the trunk of a tree with bark like old papyrus is what might be a wizard. Their entire neck is beard. Every exhalation from their slight, wiry frame is a cloud of noxious dust that smells like cool ranch. Their leer is a series of made-up words.\n\n"FROBOZZ, MISANDRY, FROTZ, BIOTRUTHHHH, FAKEGAMERR."\n\nEngaging in any actual conversation with this beast seems impossible as they nod along to the beat, frothing.\n\n[[UNLEASH THE YELLOW BILE|SplYellow]]\n[[UNLEASH THE BLACK BILE|SplBlack]]\n[[PHLEGM ALL OVER THEIR FACE|SplBlue]]\n<<endif>>

<<timedgoto "westofhouse" 55s>><<stopallsound>>\nNothing but the sound of the ocean in there. [[Sorry|westofhouse]].\n\n<<timedinsert 25s>>You wipe an overflow of thick black bile from the corner of your mouth. You wipe slick fingers on your dress.<<endtimedinsert>>

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Black Bile, Inhuman Circuits

<<set $CFW = "yes">><<set $sco = $sco + 1>><<timedgoto "woods" 55s>><<stopallsound>>\nＢＬＡＣＫ  ＢＩＬＥ  ＧＯＤＬＥＳＳ  ＨＥＡＴＨＥＮ\nYou sigh as the black bile vacates your body and slithers toward the crestfallen warrior. Visions of countless conditioning processes slide behind your eyes. Just as you have been conditioned, so too does your black bile condition the warrior, break him down further, until he sinks into your own pool of black bile, strengthening it.\n\nYou snatch a pawful of that awful bile and get on gettin' on.\n\n[[Ok cool|woods]]

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<<set $gal ="yes">><<timedgoto "woods" 55s>><<set $sco = $sco + 1>><<stopallsound>>\nＰＨＬＥＧＭＡＴＩＣ  ＬＯＶＥ\nRather than spit room-temperature phlegm at the feet of this work of art, you spit into a hand and carefully use it to trace a thin circle around her. You fall to your knees and think of other sculptures: of Venus, of Galatea. As you ponder the fine curve of Galatea's lips, the statue sighs wistfully and moves. She lightly caresses your cheek and leaves a snail trail of phlegm behind.\n\nWeeping, you pocket her leavings and, head bowed, make your exit.\n\n[[Holy shit|woods]]

<<if $gal eq "yes">><<stopallsound>><<timedgoto "woods" 25s>>You shiver as dust motes waver, blown by a chill breeze. Aside from waxy leaves that hang from branches like obscene [[loogies|woods]], there's nothing else here.<<else>><<stopallsound>><<timedgoto "BLBlack" 35s>>\nIn a Brain- or Lung-Shaped Clearing\nOn a squat marble pedestal in a clearing is a statue of a woman. She is facing away from you. She wears a fine green dress. From the line of her shoulder to the way she stands, you suspect she deserves better than to be here. She belongs, as they say, in a museum.\n\nThe air is cold, and heavy with reverent silence.\n\n\n[[UNLEASH THE YELLOW BILE|BLYellow]]\n[[UNLEASH THE BLACK BILE|BLBlack]]\n[[PHLEGM ALL OVER THEIR FACE|BLBlue]]\n<<endif>>

Robot Parking

<<timedgoto "Fakestart" 55s>><<stopallsound>>\nBefore zork.exe, there was C:\sGames\sZork. Before that was <<replace "C:\sGames.">>a CPU power button.<<becomes>>a powerbar switch.<<becomes>> a playfulness.<<becomes>> a longing.<<becomes>>a lack.<<becomes>>a lack that demanded action.<<becomes>> a gentle flow of humor.<<endreplace>>\nEvery //before// is a story of ascent, as though you were clawing your way back up to the <<timedreplace 10s>>surface.<<becomes>>surface through black bile.<<endtimedreplace>>\n[[Ok alright whatever|Fakestart]].\n<<timedinsert 25s>>A thickening throb of the fluid in your veins presses back against the air.<<endtimedinsert>>

<<timedgoto "woods" 55s>>\nWest of House\nYou are standing in an open field west of a [[white house|whitehouse]], with a boarded front door.\nThere is a small [[mailbox]] here.\n\n>\n<<timedinsert 2s>>The treeline [[beckons|woods]].<<endtimedinsert>>\n<<timedinsert 25s>>Sparks the colour of piss slip from beneath your fingernails.<<endtimedinsert>>